Nov 13, 2009

In celebration of arbitrary achievements: 100 Certified Cabin Dwellers

As friend and fellow LAMB Nick might say, "Woot!!"

Yes, it's a meaningless milestone in the grand scheme of things, but I just noticed that Blog Cabins now has 100 Google/Blogger followers, or Cabin Dwellers as I prefer to call y'all. This post is merely an excuse to say thanks to you and any other non-Google sanctioned followers of this nearly three-year old blog (and this post doesn't mean I won't do something to commemorate that date, in which I will say essentially the same thing. Recycling for the win!). To paraphrase the Doobie Brothers (something I try to do daily...or not), "It keeps me running, yeah it keeps me running...," with the "it" being your following, commentary and loyal patronage.

And to anyone out there who follows BC but wonders why I'm not listed as a follower on your Blogger site, it's because your site sucks and I don't like it the explanation is here.

Large Association of Movie Blogs

TGITDNMAR (11/13/09)

It's that time again for TGITDNMAR, which (obviously) stands for Thank God It's The Day New Movies Are Released.

2012
For those masochists that are actually eagerly anticipating this movie, might I at least share this nugget: Roland Emmerich's latest D.O.A. P.O.S. is 158 minutes. That's two hours and thirty eight minutes!

I suppose that's how long it takes to have a movie that shows the destruction of the entire freaking world, piece by piece and landmark by landmark. To be honest, part of my is dying to see this, if only to experience just how terrible it is, but I just can't support it financially and look at myself in the mirror.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing (in the theater): 7%

The Boat That Rocked Pirate Radio
You know how to judge when a massive new edit and re-titling of a movie are a failed idea? When those alterations become the story rather than the movie itself.
Solid cast, decent story, all-around light, fun feeling...and I don't know a single person that cares about this movie. As for me, I'm bothered on principle by the changes made - the edits made might in fact make the flick better (though not from what I've heard) and the title might indeed make it more marketable in North America (we have Talk Like a Pirate Day, after all), but it's not like this was some festival film that had yet to be released to a wide audience. It was released in the UK some seven months ago, and opened throughout the world shortly thereafter. North America is essentially the last place to get it. You don't change the name of a film that's been seen the world over for the last 6+ months - sorry.

Dumber still, the changes made will have ZERO impact on the film's success here. It's totally impossible to prove, but I guarantee it. This is a film that had limited appeal (like The Damned United) no matter what it's title - why bother?

And since I'm here, a reminder that Raiders of the Lost Ark will never be titled Indiana Jones and the... in my head, and Star Wars will never be titled Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope. Ok?

End rant.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 20%

The Messenger
Can you say Acting Showcase for the Academy?

I'll be shocked if there's not at least one nomination from the three leads (Woody, Ben Foster, and Samantha Morton) out of this flick, and just as I pre-judged 2012, I'll pre-judge this and say that I'm guessing that it's worthy of two or three.

Though it's a difficult subject matter, Harrelson and Morton = two of my favorite actors, and people that I'll see in anything. This also looks to be a great double bill along with the equally depressing Brothers, starring Tobey Maguire, Jake Jill N. Hall and Natalie Portman.

Related note: I think I might earn my Masters in Iraqi Film degree pretty soon. Rendition and The Kingdom are amongst the few that I've missed, and word is that I haven't missed much with either of them...
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 96%

Large Association of Movie Blogs

Nov 12, 2009

Survivor: Samoa Episode 9 Recap/Live Blog

No, I have not gotten over the loss of the Tree Cave Hole since last week. Regardless, I will soldier on.

7:00: The Foa Foa Four? I wonder if they were ever in league with the Seattle Seven...

7:01: Is it possible that the episode will play out exactly as Laura mentioned, that "Russell will be voted out next?" Despite the obviousness of it, or more like because of it, I just can't imagine it playing out that way. The savvy CBS producers will rig the immunity challenge to favor a Santa-bellied Southern oil man, I'm sure of it. That or they'll inject another player will some illness to force them out of the game. Yeah, we'll go with that theory.

7:06: Poor little rat. All that drama for 3 oz. of food? They should have captured it and fed it food to plump it up to at least chihuahua size. Then they each might've gotten a bite or two.

7:11: These are some of the worst runners I've ever seen. I mean, just awkwardness all around, save for perhaps John and Mick. Jaison and Russell running next to each other...wow, I think I could watch that all day.

7:19: Hi, Kelly. Nice to meet you. Welcome to the game of Survivor.

7:20: Here's your top secret reward clue for the re-hidden immunity idol: there is an immunity idol somewhere at your camp. You know, just like there was last time. And it's hidden, just like it always is. Your clue is information that you'd be a dolt for not knowing in the first place. Congratulations!

7:22: Will Russell find a second idol without a single clue?

7:22: Of course, just as I'm typing that, he finds it. What a f*cking awesome son of a b*tch! (Sorry, but that was just awesome.) What the hell is wrong with all of the other players in this game? Remember how I (jokingly) called the producers of the show savvy? I take it back, I take it all back. They are now idiots for having not thought as intelligently as one of their own players. There's only one of him and god knows how many people working behind the scenes with input on such matters, and yet this one player knows how predictable they will be and finds a 2nd idol sans clues. Sharpen up, people!

7:26: Damn it all - I have to backtrack yet again. Russell's an idiot. I disagree 100% with his strategy of telling someone about his find. You know they all want to vote you off at the next tribal - why not truly blindside the other players in the game and let them vote for you like they planned.

7:27: Making matters worse, the above scenario I just mapped out is Russell's plan. Newflash: you didn't need to tell anyone anything to incentivize them to vote you out, dummy. Now there's the possibility that she turns on you, tells anyone, and all of a sudden you're potentially playing another idol for nothing.

7:30: My anger at Russ on his plan notwithstanding, of course I am really pulling for him to win this Immunity Challenge. That would be nothing short of beautiful.

7:32: Sheeeeeeiiiiiiitttt. Too busy smirking to pull your bag back in time, and now you're out of the challenge. Nice going, Russ.

7:36: Channeling Indiana Jones: Laura? Why did it have to be Laura? C'mon, Jacque.

7:36: Then again, Laura's confidence that Russell will be going home almost made it worth it. Not quite, but almost. Though it really would have been great to have seen her go home.

7:40: There goes Russell again, now telling Jaison about his find! "The idea is to surprise them with it," tells us about Russ's plan. That's gonna be pretty damn hard when they all know about it. How many other people know now - four? What are the odds that Jaison, Natalie, Mick and Shambo allll keep their mouths shut?

7:43: "That's not rocket science," says John. Haha. Nice one, Mr. Rocket Scientist.

7:45: Russell doesn't want to play his idol and not need it, but he also doesn't want to not play it and then need it. Screw your doubts about whether or not they might be writing your name down, son - better to go with the latter scenario than the former, no? Besides, what's to stop you from finding it again?

7:47: I have decided that I shall deem Mick "Steve Young" and Erik is now "Dave Matthews." Just thought you should know that. Not that there's a tribal council going on right now or anything.

7:49: Really, all that banter was much ado about nothing. "Galu is tight, Foa Foa is helpless, Erik was a snake." Been there, done that.

7:50: Good for you, Russell!!! Played it after all.

7:51: Yes! They voted for him, to boot. This is gonna be great.

7:52: Excellent...with a Shambo flop, it becomes a 5-5 game in terms of alliances. The entire drama remaining in the season hinges upon that flop. Meanwhile, Jaison, Mick, and Natalie need to start worshipping the ground Russ walks on. Finally, I can't wait to see all 10 players running around camp like chickens sans heads looking for the soon-to-be-rehidden (again) idol. Expect it to be floating in the air some 100 feet high where no one will find it; it would be embarrassing if any of the players found it with any ease whatsoever.

Survivor news at Survivor.com
Survivor homepage at CBS.com

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Fletch's Film Review: Where the Wild Things Are

Depending on who you listen to, Maurice Sendak's Where the Wild Things Are is either 338 or 339 words long. Considering the brevity of his genius, combined with the fact that I suck and it's been weeks since I saw the film and have yet to write anything about it, I've decided to go into Schtick Mode and give you a review that matches the number of words in his book. Starting....now:

What kind of person decides to adapt a 10-sentence book that takes 90 seconds to read and turn it into a 90 minute movie? Would you call that person ambitious? Insane? Brilliant? Idiotic?

Of course, we already knew that director Spike Jonze was a visionary - an auteur, a hyphenate, a creative genius. All by itself, the look of Wild cements that status. Jonze expands upon the bedroom jungle of Sendak's vision and turns it into an alternate world for Max and the Wild Things full of every type of tropical location you can think of, and architectural creations that could only come from the mind of a child (it should be noted that the only other director that might've matched or exceeded Jonze at filming this book would be Michel Gondry, a man-child if ever there were one).

The thing that's more surprising (and/or vexing to many) is how adult this child's book has become. The context and message was always there, but this film has been injected with more psychoanalysis than The Sopranos, all in the guise of 12-foot monsters. Max doesn't go on his mind's journey merely to escape the pain and loneliness of being a child, but to work out his demons. He puts himself in the shoes of his mother, teaching himself what it's like to be a parent and learning that there's no such place as Utopia - no place where there is no pain, but that pain can be a means of growth and bonding.

While there are those that think that element is what ruins Wild, I'm one of the ones that think the maturity of the subject matter, combined with the exuberant playtime feel, timeless look and diverse characters, are what will eventually count Jonze's work as not just another book-to-film adaptation, but a classic in its own right.

To paraphrase Forrest Gump, that's about all I have to say about that. But since I have a few words remaining, I would like to say this: James Gandolfini really

Sorry - that's 338.

Fletch's Film Rating:
"It's in the hole!"
Shaky Cam Rating (details):LAMBScore:
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Nov 11, 2009

Blogger Bitching #3

Well, here's a winner of a post idea. It will either a) not appeal to you in the slightest or b) offend you in one way or another. Who knows, though, maybe there are some other options as well, like c) you'll agree and change your dastardly ways or d) you'll call me on my b.s.

Anyway, the crux of this hinges on one simple fact: I visit a lot of blogs on a daily basis. Regardless of my
LAMB shepherding, there are a number of sites that I enjoy reading frequently. I won't call out any specific names, but if some of these bitches apply to you, don't be too offended - just appease me and fix whatever the problem is.

Bitch #1 - Comment Subscription via Email
I'm not sure if the title gave it away or not, but this is just the third time I've done an entry in this Bitching series. And yet, I'm already repeating one of my bitches...

But it's with good reason. Look, all you people that still don't offer any comment subscription, I'm thinking of you more than me. You do want repeat visitors to your site, right? Right? Well, guess what? If I leave a comment and there's no email telling me when a reply has been made, there's an 82% chance that I'm not going to go back to the site later to check and see if my nugget of wisdom has been praised or panned by you or your other fellow readers. Compound that with my frustration that every time I leave a comment, I get pissed about your lack of email subscription option, and I'm now thinking about not returning to your site at all.

And before you start, don't even try to tell me to subscribe to your comments via a feed reader. The goal I set for my feed reader is for the number of unread items to read "0," a goal that I just about never achieve. The last thing I'm gonna do is start subscribing to comment feeds there, where the average per day for one site could be 30 or more, depending on the popularity of the site. No effing way.

Bitch #2 - Podcaaaaaaasssssstttts
It should come as no surprise that, now that I'm producing a podcast, I've become an insufferable bandwagon jumper as it relates to them. I've asked other LAMB sites that do them to let me know so that I might post a roundup of them there, but aside from being potentially beneficial to them and serving as a general public service to those interested in movie podcasts, I've come to really enjoy listening to them (I know - big surprise, huh?). I'll even be posting a lit of which ones I'm listening to regularly in the next few days.

Anyway, length. WTF, people? Some of these (and some with no more than two people on the podcast) are 2+ hours!

"But Fletch," you're thinking, "you could just fast-forward or not listen or listen in sections. Stop being such a whiny bitch."

No. First of all, no one puts chapters on their podcasts despite the availability (at least through GarageBand; I don't either). If you get into fast-forwarding through bits here and there, you really have no idea when one topic stops and another starts. But that misses the point anyway: as much as I like to listen to these podcasts, they are all amateur (yes, including the LAMBcast). No one is producing radio-ready content; either due to a lack of charisma, quality content or sharp enough editing, many are rambly enough as it is.

Podcasts in general should not be over 60 minutes, and only then if there's a glut of excellent content. If you've got that much more to talk about, break it up into multiple shows.

Bitch #3 - Stop toying with me, Technorati
I'm not sure how new it is (I think very), but Technorati now ranks apparently all of the sites in its listing by a set number of genres. Shockingly, BC is listed in the film section. But their top secret formula has me bouncing all over the damn place, and what's worse, it's inconsistent with their "main" Technorati ranking. I've climbed in that main ranking, but where I used to be in the top 200 or 300 for film blogs, now I can't even find myself in the entire list of 800+. What the hell, Techno? Are my magical authority points going up or down (I'd ask why but that's like trying to learn the location of a rainbow's pot o' gold)? Am I more or less influential than I was yesterday? I need to know these things...

-------------------------------------

Got a bitch of your own, for me or some other (non-specific) site? Put your complaining pants on and let me hear it.

Large Association of Movie Blogs

Nov 10, 2009

The Dude That Does Stuff Movie Plot Game #5

Last Week's Results: JacksSmirkingRevenge came through late with three winners, enough to barely squeak out a win (though I kind of tied, with 3 stumpers).

The concept is overwhelmingly simple; below are 15 movie plots, torn down to their basest base, and invariably involving the words "dude" and/or "stuff." All you must do is name the film. 1 point per correct answer; he/she with the most points wins. Google to your heart's content; it will do you no good. Many films might match the plots you see below, but there is only one correct answer, and that's the one that's in my head when I write it.

Have fun with this stuff, dudes and dudettes. The difficulty level for this edition has been taken down a hair or two from last week, I believe.

1. Dude never looks like himself.
2. Dude is made of stuff.
3. Dude gets accused of stuff.
4. Dude finds stuff that no one else can.
5. Dude bets he can do stuff. He can't. Until he can.
6. Dude deals with volatile stuff/other dudes.
7. Dude wakes up to find that none of his stuff is the same.
8. Dude pulls prank on dudette; realizes error of his ways.
9. Dude talks about stuff.
10. Dude gives up stuff to get dudette.
11. Dude didn't do stuff.
12. Dudes fight stuff.
13. Dudes try to get stuff that isn't theirs.
14. Dude likes dude a little bit too much.
15. Dudes and dudettes chase stuff.

As you get them right, I'll mark them as gotten and stuff. Good luck.

Standings
Myherobobhope - 1.5
BD79, JacksSmirkingRevenge - 1
Nic Cage - .5

Correct answers so far:
1. The Saint
2. Robocop (Univarn)
3. Disclosure (JSR)
4. Ace Ventura: Pet Detective
5. White Men Can't Jump (JSR)
6. The Rock
7. Demolition Man
8. She's All That (JSR)
9. Pump Up the Volume
10. Half Baked (JSR)
11. The Fugitive (Gaylord)
12. Ghostbusters (Jason Soto)
13. Three Kings
14. The Talented Mr. Ripley (Nick)
15. Twister (Justin)

Large Association of Movie Blogs

Nov 8, 2009

LAMBcast #4; Poll results, new poll

I asked you in the last poll if you had seen The Room. The response was a big, fat "No," by almost a 4:1 margin. The results are even more lopsided when you factor in that one vote is mine (I believe), one is Mrs. Fletch's, and at least one belongs to one of the guys listed below.

The latest LAMBcast is a somewhat special edition, devoted almost entirely to the cult 'hit' The Room. If you've seen the film, you're ahead of the game; if not, it's imperative that you see it as soon as possible; then come back and listen to the podcast (or just listen anyway; you still ought to get a kick out of it). Also, regardless of whether you've seen it or not, enjoy the YouTube clips below; they'll either serve as a fun trip down memory game or a primer for what you're in for.

In it, I was joined by two fellow LAMBs:

* Tom Clift of Plus Trailers and
* Jason Soto of Invasion of the B Movies.

As usual, the music, as provided royalty-free by Kevin MacLeod's Incompetech website, is the bomb. Big thanks to Kevin for providing this service.

Additional sites mentioned during the podcast:
* The Room's Wikipedia page
* Entertainment Weekly: The Crazy Cult of The Room

Vids:






You can listen by playing it in the widget in the sidebar; if you'd like to add it to your site (you would), click the "Add to my page" link. Also, you can find us on iTunes; just go to the Podcasts section and search for "LAMBcast."

If you have any questions, comments, or suggestions, we'd love to hear them.

Finally, the latest poll is up, and it wants to know how interested you are in George Clooney's current film blitz. Spoiler alert: Clooney is the subject of LAMBcast #5.

Large Association of Movie Blogs

Stained Glass Cinema Sunday (#66)

As promised, the last one in my bin, a damn hard one. Hints will no doubt be coming eventually. I'll give you this one for starters - it was released this decade.




















Standings:
J.D. - 12
Fletch - 11
Nick - 6
Wendymoon, Clive Dangerously - 5
Jason/Daniel, David Bishop, Rachel - 3
Evan Derrick, Jason Soto, BD79 - 2
Steel11Kane, TonyD, Luke Harrington, Adam Ross, Justin, Anders, Dreamrot, Dave, JLG, Big Mike Mendez - 1

Here are the altered/actual posters from last time:

Large Association of Movie Blogs

Nov 7, 2009

Fletch's Film Review: The Box

Donnie Darko came and went, unloved by theatrical audiences, or at least not given a proper chance to be loved. It was an ambitious, audacious piece of filmmaking, and co-starred Holmes Osborne. Given new life on video, it became wildly popular, earning cult status, etc., etc.

Southland Tales came and went, unloved be theatrical and video audiences. Described by many (including me) as a hot mess, it was an ambitious, audacious piece of filmmaking, and co-starred Holmes Osborne. It was either the best terrible movie of all time, or the worst great movie of all time (or at least 2006), though I would place the great/terrible ratio somewhere around 57/43. Like Donnie, it made little sense yet was highly compelling to watch (endure?).

Now The Box has come. It should come as no surprise, then, that it is ambitious, audacious, and co-stars Holmes Osborne. Like Donnie and Southland, it makes little sense yet is highly compelling to watch.

So what's the point (besides all of the ones I've repeated again and again)? It's this: When Southland Tales flopped commercially and critically, it was assumed that Kelly had overshot his ability, spoiling the apparent free rein he was given after the tardy success of Donnie, the effects of a young director being hailed as an auteur after but one feature. The Box, then, would seem to blow that theory up: Southland was no different than Donnie, save for perhaps its lighter tone, use of music and abundance of Saturday Night Live veterans. It was merely the next in the pattern - a pattern proved by The Box. Donnie is not the exception to his career, it's exactly the same, only we didn't know it at the time. After all, how much different is paradoxical time travel, giant evil rabbits and Tears for Fears from Justin Timberlake covering The Killers or Frank Langella showing up sans half his face and mysterious boxes that are capable of exacting death upon strangers?

Time and critics will no doubt cast The Box as the median film between these three in terms of overall quality. For whatever reasons, Donnie's ludicrousness is given a pass; whether that's due to the familiarity of a plot involving time travel or Patrick Swayze's presence, one can't say for sure. But the fact remains that it took itself seriously and was somewhat restrained given the material (especially compared to his later films). Southland's general storyline might not be any less crazy, but it was severely less-focused, dropping the viewer in on the third (or fourth, I can't recall) part of a six-episode epic, with what felt like a city's worth of characters and the subtlety of Rocky Horror, all smashed into 2.5 hours.

The Box, however, is a technically solid film, a period piece set in 1976 that offers all the realism of a Zodiac. It features a haunting and creative score by alterna-hipsters Arcade Fire that enlivens the film, and rather than raiding the cast of MadTV, features solid, wink-free performances from all of its stars, from Cameron Diaz (playing it straight without making us feel conscious of the fact that she's playing it straight), Frank Langella (adding many touches of class playing one of the great villains of the last decade, like Anton Chigurh minus the bowl cut and air gun), and James Marsden (proving once and for all that he's a highly capable leading man). In other words, aside from the insanity of the plot, it's a highly impressive film.

That plot is hard to overcome, though. It starts with a Book of Questions-like query, giving the young married couple the choice of killing a stranger for one million dollars...or not. All that must be done is the pressing of a small red button. That's where the simplicity begins and ends. The narrative shoots off in more directions than light reflecting off a disco ball, taking the audience (and the characters) on a mind-bending trip into...well, you name it. As with Southland (and Donnie, whether you want to admit it or not), your enjoyment of the film will likely hinge most on whether or not you're up for the long, strange descent into madness.

I had a similar experience to my Southland theatrical journey; at a certain point, I stopped trying to make sense, took the red pill and let Kelly show me once again how deep the rabbit-hole would go. Yes, it's hilarious at times, mostly at times when it's not supposed to be. But it's also intriguing, full of ideas, scary, and thoughtful. Mostly, it comes down to this: given the choice between a sane, unmemorable film and a batshit crazy, unforgettable one, I'll choose the latter every time. After all, on occasion, it just might be great. You know, like Donnie Darko.

Fletch's Film Rating:
"Darn tootin!"

Shaky Cam Rating (details):LAMBScore:
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Nov 6, 2009

TGITDNMAR (11/6/09)

It's that time again for TGITDNMAR, which (obviously) stands for Thank God It's The Day New Movies Are Released.

Lots to get to, so let's get to it.

A Christmas Carol
The first time I saw the original trailer for this Bob Zemekis CGI-motion capture 3-D extravaganza, I was filled with hate. As you might recall, I grew up with the George C. Scott 1984 (televised) version that co-starred Cheers own Robin Colcord (or whatever his name was). I would call it a very traditionalist version of Dickens' book, despite the fact that I haven't read Dickens' book. It just oozes "olde England," a sentiment I know to be true because I've seen pictures of England and watched numerous Harry Potter films.

Anyway, the sight of Scrooge flying to the moon (Alice) on the cone of truth was enough to sent tiny icicles of hate flying from my body. After a few viewings, though, I got off my old school soapbox and tried to open my mind to a new interpretation; so long as the spirit and message are there, that's what matters, right?

But then they had to come along and release a second trailer, one in which Scrooge can be seen being turned into a miniature version of himself and sliding down some icy slope. If that weren't bad enough (it is), we're treated to the knee-slappin' humor of him ramming through (whaddaya know?) numerous baby icicles, all whacking him in the nuts. Bob Saget and Tom Bergeron would be proud. Dickens, however, is likely in his grave, hitting himself in the groinal region as hard as he can and as many times as he can, all until he's able to forget the abomination of an adaptation that's been made from his work.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing (in the theater): 0%

The Box
Though I'd almost like to see Men/Goats more, Mrs. Fletch and I will be off seeing Richard Kelly's (Donnie Darko, Southland Tales) latest tonight. Why, you ask?

Because good or bad, it's almost guaranteed to be interesting, a quality most modern films lack. Yes, it's gotten some terrible reviews - but it's also earned some raves, and from folks whose opinion I respect (okay, so I've only seen this one).

But if you, like me, have seen Southland Tales, you know that Kelly won't disappoint either way. Even if The Box is a failure, it ought to be a fantastic failure. Though the rush to see it is fear of commercial failure; it might not be in theaters next week (ST was gone after one weekend in Phoenix), whereas Goats ought to have a long run.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 100%

Update: Just returned from The Box. Wow. So many words that I have no words at this point. Though I'm a few reviews behind, expect one on this soon.

Precious: Based on a Really Long Title That Seems to Serve No Purpose Other to Be Really Long. After All, Who Really Cares Who Sapphire Is? I Mean, Have You Ever Heard of This Sapphire Person? I Didn't Think So.
Yea, it looks good. Even though Mariah doesn't, but I suppose that's the point. I wonder how bad that makes Precious feel that Mariah has to ugly herself up to get into this movie? Kind of cruel given the content of the film, if you ask me.

I'm a big fan of posters that could double as works of art; this one is pretty rad, unlike the ones above and below it, which are standard-fare "floating star heads" (though at least the Goats one has some humor in it).
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 82%

The Men Who Stare at Goats
Does Ewan McGregor have a little Colin Farrell in him, in that he stinks as an actor any time he adopts a straight American accent? That's the vibe I get from the trailer for goats; not sure, what it is, but I just like him a lot less when he sounds like me, I guess. Think about it - The Island, uh, other examples, and that one movie. Oh well, I haven't seen his entire filmography - maybe you can help me out. (By the way, Big Fish does not count, as he was pure Southern Comfort there.)

Anyway, it looks funny enough, and has a hell of a cast. I'm not expecting an award winner, just a good time.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 94%

The Fourth Kind
God, this flick is just begging to be included in my next installment of "Imagining sequels that won't happen," isn't it? It's almost too obvious, though.

Milla. Alaska. Abductions. Aliens? It's like Insomnia mixed with a whole bunch of other movies that I don't really care about.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 11%

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